If you talk to any family law attorney, he or she will likely tell you about the numerous benefits of mediation for disagreements over child and spousal support, child custody and asset division. However, mediation is not the solution for all couples.

First and foremost, both spouses must be motivated to work out their differences to reach accord. They also must commit to engaging in civil discourse with one another. If this isn’t possible for you and your spouse, mediation probably isn’t for you.

Questions to ask before you mediate your divorce

To gain more clarity on the topic of whether mediation is right for you, let’s consider the following mediation fitness questions:

  • Do both you and your spouse want to divorce? Regardless of whose idea the divorce was, if one of you wants to stay in the marriage but the other does not, there’s a higher likelihood that your mediation will bump up against resentment, conflict and unsolvable disagreements.
  • Have you calculated the assets and debts from your marriage? If you don’t have the faintest clue about the financial accounts and your marital estate, it will be difficult for you to navigate your mediation without working closely with expert accountants, financial advisers and your legal team.
  • Are you currently communicating with your spouse? If you’re not currently communicating with your spouse because one or both of you has gone radio silent, you may want to consider whether communication will ever be possible. Remember: It’s necessary to do a lot of in-depth communication during any mediation process.
  • Are both you and your spouse flexible? It doesn’t matter how flexible you are, if your spouse is inflexible and stubborn about what he or she wants out of the divorce, you’ll likely find your own stubborn streak. In order for divorce mediation to work, some degree of flexibility and an interest in diplomatically reaching a compromise is required.

Is mediation right for your divorce?

Even if you’re satisfied with your answers to the ”mediation fitness questions,” mediation still might not be the perfect solution for your divorce. Before you choose to move forward with the divorce mediation process, make sure you fully evaluate all the legal options available.